A’Yianah is my 11-year-old daughter who has recently made the decision to go “Au”Naturale”. I remember when I was pregnant and found out that I was having a girl. Oh my.. I couldn’t wait. Part of my excitement was having a mini me who I could make to look like a “mini me” . She was born with a head full of thick and curly hair. The older she got, the more her hair started to resemble mine ( thick, wavy, and coily). By the time she entered 3rd grade I was straight out of ideas. I didn’t know what to do. Then entered the world of the creamy crack-A’Yianah received her first relaxer at age 8. I must admit I was frustrated with her hair and I would dread “hair day”. It was filled with a lot of crying, frustration, yelling, and neck rolling ( from mom and daughter). I wasnt fully aware on the proper products to use or versatile with styles. She was nearing the age where she didn’t want corn rows or pony tails. She was longing to have long flowing hair like her friends ( who mostly were bi-racial) and like the girls she saw on TV (they wore weaves). After the last crying feast that went down in my kitchen, I went and purchased her a relaxer. I told her that relaxer would solve all of her tangled hair problems and she could wear her hair “out” just like her friends. After the application and flat ironing mini me was constantly combing her hair and shaking it like a white girl. She seem very pleased and happy with the results. She seemed very confident and her self-esteem went up 100 points. ( That was temporary)
Soon after I gave my daughter her first relaxer I started my locs. She wasnt impressed. Actually the first thing out of her mouth was ” mom what did you do? ” You look like a boy! ” I was shocked that she felt like that. She slowly was connecting beauty with long straight hair. I was browsing through old pictures and noticed that my daughter hair wasnt as full as before and it seemed to have stopped growing ( if there is such a thing). Mini me started to complain more and more at every relaxer application. When touch up day came she would immediately get tense and jittery-she was bracing herself for the burning. I experimented with several brands, and strengths. I applied a “burn ease” cream to the scalp and she still burned. We continued this process until April 2010. When it was time for her touch up she blurted out ” do I have to”? I said well if you don’t your hair will re vert back to it natural state and we will have to find alternate styling, etc. She said “ok”. I asked ” DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING?” You will be natural if we stop the relaxers. She said I don’t care. I don’t want any more perms *insert hand clap and a hallelujah* . Right then and there, I threw the relaxer in the trash and we started the transiting process. I whipped her up some shea butter and her first style was flat twist up into one pony tail.
I must admit, I was mad at myself for applying the first relaxer and then selling it to her as the “cure”. I just remember how I felt wanting to have a relaxer and my mother refusing and me looking “unkept” at times, and being teased un mercifully for having “nappy” hair. Mommie was old school she didn’t know what to do with my hair and neither did I. Mini me had started having self-confidence issues and I wanted to do whatever I could to build her self-esteem. I’ve since over heard my daughter bragging to people that she is Au’Naturale. She loves it and rock it well!!! At the end of the day, I still ended up with my “Mini Me” I rock locs, and she rocks a natural. We will blog about her journey, styling options, and advice for other tweens/teens. Stay tuned beauties
